If you are a senior finding yourself back in the dating scene once more, there are many things you should know. If it’s been awhile since you last dated, you may not be aware of how intimidating the marketplace can be today. While online dating now makes it possible to broaden your horizons of who you meet and date, it also means there are more precautions you need to take when dating.

There are many options out there for seniors today whereas before, you may have had a hard time trying to meet someone new. You may have been limited to senior centers or whoever lives in your building or on your street and happens to be single, too. But now, the Internet and senior dating sites make it possible to expand the reach of who you meet more than ever before.

While this is all really great and gives you more opportunity than ever before to meet someone new or to make new friends, you also have to be careful and protect yourself when online senior dating. Even if you’re not meeting the person in real life, you need to be cautious of what and how much information you give out over the Internet. The days of leaving your doors unlocked are over and predators will find many ways to get to you- using the computer or a dating site as one tool.

This doesn’t mean, however, that you cannot enjoy online dating. You just need to familiarize yourself with some of the ways that you might be victimized and then protect yourself before this can happen.

Here are some ways in which you need to protect yourself in senior dating.

Stay Physically Safe

First and foremost, you should stay physically safe. You should follow all of the safe dating precautions for meeting people online. Take time to get to know the person thoroughly before agreeing to meet them in person. Do a background check based on the information the person gave you online and see if it matches up with what they have told you before.

You should also make sure you meet in a lit, crowded public place and that friends or family know where you are and who you are meeting. You should also work out a system where you call before you leave and make a point to check in at a particular time. If you have to, excuse yourself from your date and to the restroom to make this check in call. Your contact should know to call the police if you miss your check ins and then don’t respond to messages.

Unless you already know some form of self defense, you might consider taking a self defense class, martial arts or similar method of personal defense. Even if it’s not your date that you run into trouble with, it helps to know how to defend yourself if some hooligans get the bright idea that an elderly couple is a good idea to pick on.

Protect Your Heart

While it might sound silly at first, it’s also important to protect your heart. You don’t want to get too attached to someone until you’re sure their intentions are true and matching with your intentions. Sometimes when a person is used to being in a relationship or has been alone for a long time, it’s easy to want so badly to be in a relationship that we fall for the first person who comes along. This isn’t always the smart, or safe choice.

There are many seniors on the Net just looking for friendship or love who have good intentions at heart. But scammers and schemers come at any age. Not to mention the fact that some predators may just pretend to be a senior looking for love in order to try to take advantage of you in some way. You don’t want to become so paranoid that it hinders you from finding the right person but there is nothing wrong with being extra cautious.

You should always go with your gut on this sort of thing, too. If something just doesn’t feel right or you get a bad feeling about a person or a situation, honor that feeling rather than ignoring it. You just never know but often instincts try to tell us something isn’t right and not listening could cause harm to come to you when it could have been prevented.

Protect Your Finances

Going right along the lines of the last topic, it’s important to protect your finances. It’s a sad but true fact that there are some people out there who look to prey on seniors or widows/widowers for their money. Some red flags that someone might be more interested in your wallet than your heart are:

• Asks about your finances
• Asks about life insurance you may be receiving
• Asks about disability checks, 401Ks and other retirement funds or assistance you may be getting
• Always complains about not having money
• Is a “victim” who somehow lost all of his/her money
• Claims to have adult children in a bind who need money
• Any similar scam, scheme or ploys to garner money from you

These are especially fishy if they happen when you don’t even know each other that well or if you have not met in person yet. If the person avoids meeting you in person but asks you for money, this is a big red flag.

Learn more about common schemes and sweetheart scams, especially those that are affecting seniors at the time. This will help you spot a scammer early on, rather than when they have stolen your money and broken your heart.

Watch Your Food and Drink

We all want to think that the person we are with is a good person. No one wants to believe that the person they are attracted to has ulterior motives in mind but the sad truth is that they might. It’s important to always watch your food and drink when on a date and don’t leave your date alone with an opportunity to slip something into your food.

There is a lot more at risk than the cost of a broken heart or even your savings when it comes to dating today, especially online dating. Some people have been drugged and raped or worse. It’s a sad fact that date rape drugs are being used more and more often today and seniors are not immune to such tactics. These things happen more often with someone you already know so don’t assume you’re safe just because you’ve befriended your date.

Conclusions

It’s always better to be safe than sorry and while there are many great benefits to senior dating sites, you still need to exercise caution when you use them. Never assume that someone is telling you the truth about who they are and never assume that someone wouldn’t try to take advantage of you.

You don’t want to become so paranoid that you cannot enjoy yourself or your time on a date but you also want to be sure you take the proper steps to prepare yourself. It just makes sense to protect yourself, your family and your investments and wellbeing. If a person is truly into you and wants to be a part of your life, they will also respect the fact that you have to be careful as you are getting to know them.

Go places only when – and where – you feel comfortable enough to.

Senior dating sites have certainly made things easier than they used to be. Not so long ago, you had to head out for a night on the town or walk up to complete strangers to find a regular date. Now, you can simply sign up for a senior dating site and have plenty of dating options that match your interests sent right to your inbox. These dating websites can be incredibly helpful to someone that has been out of the dating game for quite some time. Most seniors fall into that group. As helpful as those websites can be, there are still some things that seniors should be aware of going in.

Pick the right senior dating site

The first thing you should know is that picking the right senior dating site is very important. Not all of these websites are out there to actually help you out. Some of these dating websites are scams in date night clothing. You have to do your due diligence to ensure that you are signing up with the right one. The easiest way to do this is to sign up with popular sites that have a strong web presence. When you put their name into Google, you should be able to easily find information about them. Checking with the BBB in your area is not a bad idea either.

Another key to ensuring you have a decent website is to find contact information and use it. Before I sign up with a website like this I try to use their customer service numbers up front. If you are unable to get in touch with someone, or you have trouble getting a response, then you likely are dealing with a company that is not going to make you happy. Always ensure you can get somebody on the phone and talk about your sign up. If you can, then at least you know they are legit in trying to help you find a date.

Make sure the terms are clear as well. If you are paying for a membership, make sure you know exactly what is needed to cancel if you choose to do so. These types of questions will keep you safe from the site itself.

Stay safe on your date

The real dangers come when you do not think things through and trust too much too early. Just like any other dating situation, you want to use your common sense with these dating sites. Do not count on the website to thoroughly check these folks out because that is not realistic to think that they could. Simply look at everyone with a discerning eye and you will be fine. Here are some common tips that will help you out:

• Never give out your private information to your date right away. This is perhaps the worst mistake that one can make. Never, ever give out your private information to anybody online. If you are going to share things like phone numbers, addresses and real names, you need to make certain you have built a relationship with them. Do not do this until you have gotten to know them in safe locations over a period of time.
• Always go on your first few dates with someone in a public place. If you can work out a double date with a couple you know, that would be awesome. Double dates are a great way to ensure you are safe and sound during a first date. Never go to your own home for a first date and never reveal where you live right away. That privacy will be golden down the road if you decide you don’t really think the date went well. Some people have ulterior motives as well, so keeping that stuff private is a good idea. Also respect their rights to privacy as well.
• Use a false name when you fill out your online profile. This allows you to control when and where people learn about you. In today’s world of Facebook and other online social websites, a real name can lead people to a world of information about you. Keep that stuff to yourself until you are sure you like and trust someone on a senior dating website.
• One really neat thing about a senior dating site is the forums and chat rooms. This allows a person to come in a virtual room online and talk about various topics. You can then see how people deal with a group, and also see how others respond to various subjects. It is a great way to dip your virtual toe in the water and learn about others. Eventually you may feel like joining in anonymously and have a great time. It is an easy place to interact if you are shy. You might be surprised at what you learn about someone when they are not aware you are looking.
• Be especially wary of anyone that is overly pushy or forward.  Even though you are on a website of other senior singles, you should still weed out the bad apples the same way you would in real life. The ones that are pushy are usually bad news, so you should simply move along and reveal nothing.
• Take your conversations nice and slow. Nothing says you have to rush through your online activities, so take your time and do it right. If you find the right match, they will reveal themselves in due time.
• Make sure you have an emergency contact standing by at a minimum on that first date. This person can be available to come to your aid, make a phone call, pick you up or even simply come and run interference if things go bad during the date. If you are not double dating, this should be a minimum line of safety. Having a backup is never a bad thing.
• Bring your own transportation if at all possible. This is a very good way to ensure that you have an escape route if things don’t go well. If things are bad, simply get in the car and head off into the sunset. This allows you some feeling of ease as you go through that first date or two. Your date likely has some plan of action in place as well so don’t feel bad.
• Whatever you do, avoid alcohol and other things that can cloud your judgment. The last thing you need is to be with a stranger, drunk and out of your element. Use common sense and leave all that stuff behind for now.

Staying safe after the date

Many people buy one of those portable cell phones that do not require a contract for dating services. This way you have no information tying back to you when you give out your number. This can be handy if you are dating online a lot and want to be able to talk to people. Think about getting one of these and use it to get in touch after a date.

Remain alert and vigilant on the way home. Some predators will follow people after a date to try and get information about them. If you notice someone following you, phone the local police and have them track you. It is far better to be safe than sorry.

Online dating doesn’t have to feel like you’re dating blind.

Did you know that online senior dating sites are among the fastest growing websites in the world, giving the senior set more options than ever before. Along with those options come plenty of other considerations. Safety, dependability, personal preferences and simplicity are four common considerations, but others come into play as well. Trying to find the right senior dating website for you is not nearly as complicated as it might sound. It simply requires one to take their time and do their homework.

What do I really want to find?

When you think about specialized websites, the drill runs deeper than just calling them senior websites. They offer websites that are even more specialized than that. Perhaps you are looking for an Asian senior date? Perhaps you simply want a senior that is open to a physical only type of relationship? No matter what you are looking for, there is a dating website that will likely provide your needs. That said, you need to do some homework about what you want to find in a date.

Once you know the details about what you are looking for, then you can start to narrow down some of the websites that are out there with these simple parameters. Always start with what you want, because the rest does not matter if they don’t provide what you are looking for anyway.

Test out the function of the website

I won’t say that seniors are slow on the computer and technical uptake because many are far beyond us young whippersnappers, but a large portion does struggle with computers. That said, finding a website that you can surf easily and quickly is a very big deal. The last thing you want is to find that senior you have been searching for, but be unable to contact her to say hello. Test drive the site before you sign up and make sure you like how things work. If they do not offer a test drive, then simply move on. There are plenty of senior dating websites that do.

Check to see how you interact

Most of these dating sites offer some types of forums or interaction areas where you can come in and say hello. This allows for folks to talk anonymously unless they decide they would like to meet. This is a great way to meet folks without any pressure, and you should be looking for this feature for certain.

Another exciting way to connect is through something called a chat room. This is exactly what it sounds like, but it is in real time. You can come in and talk live to others in a group setting. This is very popular because you get a cleaner feel for what someone is like in comparison to a message board or forum. Because the conversation is in real time, you can really weed out some folks here. The undesirables have a way of standing out rather obviously in chat rooms.

Most of these websites also offer private messaging as well. This is nice because you can directly speak to someone that you might be interested in via an email like platform. This can be very good if you are concerned about being turned down in a public area like the forums or chat rooms. Spend some time looking for profiles that you like, and then send out a private, personalized message that they will appreciate.

Detailed profiles means better matches

When you sign up with a dating website, be very wary if they only ask you a handful of shallow questions. You should be filling out all type of information about what you like, want and desire in a mate. You should be giving out no personal information on your profile, as this should be secret until you are ready to meet with them and choose to tell them.

When you get shallow reviews, you get horrible matches most of the time. The websites that have you fill out all kinds of questions about what you like and dislike often pair up folks that match beautifully. Look for that type of website when you search for the right one for you. Seniors know more of what they want than anybody, so it makes sense to have a complete profile in place.

What about privacy?

If you are not getting totally anonymity, then you are with the wrong senior dating website. Never give out your personal information in your profile or other areas of your website. This is a sure-fire way to draw trouble to your doorstep in a world where criminals will look for any way in. Keep that stuff to yourself and make sure your website is doing the same. Always ask about privacy and how they protect you before signing up. This is a great way to find out if that customer service line actually works. Dial it up and ask the right questions.

Don’t dismiss your gut feelings

Like anything else in life, you will know the right place when you hit it. Online dating websites are like a good or bad date; you know when you get one. The problem with the bad dating sites is that you often have already given them monthly dues before you realize it is not the site for you. This is why it is so important to make certain you have a test drive of the site. Your gut will not lead you astray if you listen to it. If something feels weird, chances are it probably is.

Use the scattershot approach

When you sign up for a senior dating website, it is a great idea to sign up for more than one. Why limit yourself to only one option? Most of the websites require no obligation to cruise around and play with the various interfaces, so come in and give it a whirl. If you try several websites, then you are much more likely to find what you really want. This is true also of your approach to finding the right mate. Speak with several, find what you like, and then dig in and investigate further.

Never forget safety issues when you are dating online

Once you find that special website that offers what you are looking for, keep some basic safety precautions in mind:

• Never give out private info too soon.
• Always double date or have an emergency standby person on your first date.
• Drive yourself to and from the date.
• Make certain you date somewhere in public at first.
• Avoid all alcohol and various other mind altering substances.
• Keep your safety in mind at all times.
• Be alert and aware of your surroundings.
• Make sure you are careful when you leave that you are not followed.

There are more precautions to be taken, of course, but these are the most common. If you are careful and do your homework, senior online dating websites can be a huge help towards finding that special someone later in life. The benefits of having these sites can’t be understated. Even people that are disabled are now finding folks that are looking for companionship. Having a digital world to look around in helps a great deal when you can’t get around like you used to. Not many seniors can head out every Friday and Saturday night looking for love randomly. Online senior dating sites make their work a little easier, and their fun as well.

Dating again can be daunting for a divorced or widowed person.

As a senior, there is a good chance you have lost your partner to divorce or death and find yourself back into the dating pool at an older age. In a way, this is more difficult than it was when you were dating as a teenager. Back then, you didn’t know what you wanted out of life so everything was an adventure. You had the rest of your life ahead of you so it didn’t matter so much if you didn’t find the right guy or girl right away.

As a senior things are completely different. You’re probably not as adventurous as you used to be and most people are set in their ways. You have lived a certain way for many years so you don’t want to change to be what someone else may want but if you don’t, you may be worried that you won’t find someone who is truly interested in you.

You also don’t have as much time as you used to and therefore, you don’t want to waste time with the wrong person. These things make it harder to date after divorce or death of a loved one. You may also hesitate getting back out into the dating game because you’re afraid you won’t find someone you’re compatible with.

After spending a long time with one person, you get into a routine and all of that’s going to change when you start dating someone else. Even if you like the same things, it doesn’t mean that you’ll be doing them the way you’re used to and that is a little scary for anyone.

The good news is that there are tips and suggestions that can help make dating after divorce or death much easier. Applying these tips will help give you confidence and make the experience more fun and exciting, the way it used to feel years ago.

Don’t Rush Things

The first thing that you need to do is take some time to heal from your loss. If you lose someone that you love and that you’ve been with for years, it’s going to hurt and you need time to get over that person. Jumping right out into the dating world before you have time to heal is setting yourself up for disaster.

If you’ve gotten a divorce after years of marriage, you’re going to have a lot of resentment for that person especially if you’ve spent a lot of years together. You may feel like you gave that person the best years of your life for nothing. Trying to move forward when harboring these negative feelings is not going to work. It will be hard to trust anyone and you may even begin to resent them even though they’ve done nothing wrong.

Take Time for Yourself

Once you’ve began to heal from the divorce or death of a loved one, you need to take some time for yourself. Get to know the real you, not the person you became for your partner. You may be exactly the same but some people discover that they want to do things differently, that they just fell into a routine with their partner because they were together so long.

Take time to discover new hobbies and learn what makes you truly happy and go from there. For example, do you like going to bed at a certain time each night or watching the same TV show every night or do you do it because it’s a habit? Have you always wanted to change your eating habits but it was too difficult if you had to cook for someone else or if they cooked for you? Do you need to begin an exercise routing to help improve your health? Now is the time to do all the things you always wanted to, but never could.

Have an Open Mind, Consider Dating Online

There are a lot of different personalities in the world and you need to have an open mind when you get back in the dating game. You are not going to find someone just like the person you loved and lost and that might be a good thing. However, if you’re searching for a specific type of person and you’re not willing to compromise or date someone that is different from what you expect, you’re going to have problems.

This doesn’t mean that you should compromise your values. It just means that you should set realistic guidelines and look for someone that meets your critique but don’t go overboard.

Not only do you need to have an open mind when it comes to who you date, you also need to be open to new ways to meet other people. Things have changed a lot through the years and if you’ve been out of the dating game for a long time, you may find it difficult to meet others. One of the best ways for seniors to meet new people is to use a senior dating site.

Many seniors laugh at the idea and say they would never do that but why not give it a try? What do you have to lose? As long as you use a reliable dating site and learn ways to stay safe when meeting others and providing personal information, it’s a great way to meet many new friends and you just may find that one person that you want to get to know better.

Let the Past Go

One of the hardest things to do as a senior is to let the past go especially if you’ve spent many years with someone. The funny thing is that it doesn’t matter what type of relationship you had, it’s still hard to let go of it. If you had a long, loving relationship with someone and you were very happy together and you don’t let go of the past, then you’ll never be happy because you’ll never find anyone to fill those shoes. You will always be comparing the people you meet to that person and no one will be good enough.

On the other hand, if you had a bad relationship that finally ended in divorce and you don’t let go of the past, you’ll always be worried that anyone you meet will be the same way. You’ll be afraid to make a commitment or even to give anyone else a chance because on some level, you’ll be afraid that it’ll turn out the same way and that’ll you’ll never be happy.

You also don’t want to talk about your past relationship when you’re getting to know someone else. This is your time together when you’re getting to know each other and not the time to talk about the life you used to have. There will come a time when you’ll sit down together and talk about your past partner whether it was good or bad but when you’re first getting to know someone is not the time.

Always Be Honest

It can be tempting to bend the truth a little especially when you’re meeting others through an online dating site. You may want to use that picture taken 10 years ago because you looked great instead of a current one or you may be tempted to pretend to be a little more well off financially than you really are but don’t.

Always be honest and when you find someone that you hit it off with, it’ll be real. When you meet, you won’t have to explain that the photo was taken years ago or that you’re really just getting by financially. Instead, you can spend your time getting to know each other better and moving on with your new life and new love if the connection continues to grow.

When learning how to date after divorce or death, don’t be too hasty to find love. It will come in time but if you try to rush it just to fill a lonely heart, it can cause problems and you may not choose a good match. Learn other more constructive ways to deal with your loneliness and then when the right person comes along, you’ll be ready for them.